Saturday, March 31, 2012

Eden Mae

It is hard to remember life before Eden Mae. In the past two months my time, focus, and priorities have shifted so dramatically and this new life shadows over the memories of a time before.

Early in labor I shared with my mom my fears of the impending change. I did not feel ready for the selflessness required to love and parent a child. I did not feel rested in preparation for the sleeplessness that spanned ahead. I did not feel like I had any more room to adopt a new identity as mother, for I had been myself in one particular way for so long.

After two months of reflection I realize it was Eden that I needed for so long. She has taught me how to be a parent; how to love selflessly while making room for an identity that fulfills rather than depletes me. In return I am given the chance to see the world anew, with a childish wonder, through a fresh pair of eyes.

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